Never the way you want it
by Cercis Blackmore
Summary: James isn't Harry's father, but who is? Read and find out. I want no flames please! There is a plot in this. Sirius is involved even if he's dead... is he?
1. Summer understandings

Note: Don't flame me, it's my firstie!

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Never the way you want it

One month had passed since Harry Potter had left his fifth year at Hogwarts, a year he wished he had never had. The reason? He had lost his godfather.  
  
Sirius had died.  
  
Harry had spent all his time to grief and dwell in memories and dull thoughts. Sometimes he made it to the kitchen to get some food. But he always finished quickly (he didn't eat much) and afterwards he always hurried up to his room. Not that _that_ was anything unusual for the boy, he hated his relatives and avoided them as often as he could, no, the unusual thing was that he always used to spend his days and evenings outdoors but this summer he didn't. Even the Dursleys was wondering what was wrong but more out of curiosity than concern.  
  
This evening was different. Harry started to wake up to reality.

_You gotta stop acting like this! Pull yourself together and start living! _He thought.  
  
Harry got up and made his way over to the mirror. He narrowed his eyes slightly when he saw his reflection. The same pale and skinny teenager he had always been. But his hair had grown a lot. His hair did no longer look like his fathers had.  
  
_Good. I'm tired of living up to his reputation, I'm not like him anyway_, he thought.  
  
He switched his cloths to another baggy couple.  
  
Time to say good farewell to the tinny, skinny, pale torn teenager, he thought. Even in his head the words sounded harsh.  
  
Harry got downstairs to the hall. He pulled his old shoes on.  
  
"Where are you going?" growled Vernon.  
  
"Out," said Harry shortly.  
  
"Where?" his uncle demanded to know.  
  
"Non of your damn business!" he said and slammed the door in Vernon's face.  
  
He started to jog towards the park.  
  
_If I'm going to get my revenge on Voldemort it would be helpful if I am in shape. I need some muscles. My quidditch reflexes isn't enough_, he thought.  
  
Soon his relatives found harry out every morning when they woke up and he didn't return until dinner. After dinner he got out again. Every time he came back he was sweaty. They also saw that he began to get a bit of a tan.  
  
All his sporting made harry forget to answer his mate's letters, even those from the order. He had to send one in atleast three days or they would come and chuck out what's keeping him from answering.  
  
His relatives started there fore to remind him everyday. They had already received two angry phone calls from Mrs Weasley and Moody who wondered what the hell had happened to him.  
  
When Harry came home August the 23:rd his owl Hedwig was waiting for him with a letter.  
  
"Hi and thanks honey. Go and get some water," he said to his owl and took the letter. She hooted softly and did as he said.  
  
He read the letter.  
  
_Hi harry,  
  
How are you?  
  
Me and Moody are going to get you out of there to our headquarters you- know- where.  
  
We'll leave around noon tomorrow.  
  
Love _

_Moony  
  
_

Harry stared. Go to Grimmuldsplace? But the place was revealed. Why still use it? He thought confused. But he didn't want to go. Not anywhere. Not even to the Burrow. He was left alone at this place. Only Vernon shouted to him. Harry decided to write and tell Remus that he wouldn't come tomorrow.  
  
"I've got Harry's response," said Remus happily when he entered the kitchen in Grimmulds place.  
  
Hermione, Ron, Mrs Weasley, Tonks, Arthur and Severus Snape looked at him.  
  
"Excellent. Read it," said Arthur.  
  
Remus unfolded the envelope and pulled out a piece of parchment.  
  
_Hellu Mr Moony-Lupin _(Severus snorted)  
  
_I'm just fine, really.  
  
Here isn't much difference from Hogwarts.  
_  
"How can he even **THINK** that?" said Ron outraged.  
  
Remus continued.  
  
_About tomorrow, I can't go. Or rather I **won't** go. It's perfect here and I got protection. Now Mr Snape is worst again. The one and only number one on my list if I don't count Voldie and Wormtail. What so ever, don't worry about me, I'm fine and I'll keep being that. Uncle Vernon drives me to Kings Cross September the first, don't worry.  
  
Love _

_Harry.  
  
_

There was a dumb silence.  
  
"What did he call Voldemort?" said Tonks belivered.  
  
"Er, Voldie I believe," said Remus.  
  
"What does he mean with me on his list?" said Snape.  
  
"Nothing," said Lupin quickly.  
  
"Say it!" he spat.  
  
"It's a list for people he hates most. Naturally Voldemort, Wormtail, you and Draco Malfoy," said Miss-know-it-all-Hermione Granger. She didn't add the Dursleys.  
  
Severus scrowled.  
  
"I'm going to send after Albus Dumbledore. Something with this letter just isn't right. It doesn't sound like harry at all," said Arthur Weasley and disappeared.  
  
They all waited.  
  
After a few minutes Albus arrived.  
  
"You are right. Severus, Remus, go and check on him," said Albus when he had read the letter.  
  
"But-"began Snape but trailed of when he met Albus gaze.  
  
Muttering he followed Remus to Privet Drive number four.

* * *

Hi, be nice alright? It's my first! And I don't speak english usually. OK?

Love

Cercis Blackmore


	2. The hamburger

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**Note: **This is set after the fifth book!

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Never the way you want it

Harry heard the doorbell rang when he got out of the shower. He didn't care so he began to get dressed. He had only got on his pants when his uncles howling voice reached him.  
  
"BOY! GO AND GET THE DOOR! WE ARE WATCHING TV!"  
  
Outside both Severus and Remus looked at each other. They could hear every word said inside.  
  
"I'M NOT FINISHED WITH MT DRESSING!" Harry shouted.  
  
"I DON'T BLOODY CARE! GET THE BLASTED DOOR NOW OR I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON!" his uncle bellowed.  
  
Harry knew how it would end, with him injured in some painful way. He ran down the stairs with only his pants on. He opened the door.  
  
He saw Remus and Severus and stared.  
  
"Who is it?" came Vernon's angry voice from the living room.  
  
"No one uncle Vernon. Only a lottery seller," he answered. "Go away!" he hissed and slammed the door in their faces.  
  
Harry got angry. He didn't want them to come! Was it really that hard to understand? Harry went to the kitchen and filled a glass with milk. Unfortainly for him the professors got in anyway. Just then his uncle came.  
  
"What are you doing in my house? OUT!" he shouted.  
  
"Shut it Dursley," snarled Snape nastily.  
  
"Are you alright?" Remus asked him.  
  
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I? I thought I told you I was! And I do remember that I also told you that I'm fine living here."  
  
Severus glared at him and Harry glared back.  
  
"It didn't sound like you in the letter. More like those muggles," said Remus.  
  
"Now you know that it was me. Leave me alone!" harry snapped.  
  
Only now first the men realised that harry didn't look like usual.  
  
"Bloody hell! He's looking like young Black!" gasped Severus.  
  
"Only a little!" said Remus.  
  
"The hair"  
  
"But he also looks like you..." said Remus.  
  
"You are wrong. Both of you. I do not look like _anyone_ accept for my self. Professors, it's time for you to leave. Without me."  
  
Before the two professors could protest they found themselves outside with the door slammed in their faces again.  
  
"Why didn't you go with your freak friends?"  
  
"Oh why should I uncle? I'm fine here," he said before he departed to his room.  
  
The next morning a several letters arrived. It was his friends from school that wrote him. And later on a several owls came from the order members. Harry ignored them all.  
  
Instead he got outside. He decided not to do his usual program today. Instead he called a muggle cab and let himself have a meal on burger king. He didn't notice Severus trailing him but he knew as well that someone from the order did. Harry had enchanged some wizarding money to muggle. He was happy that he did this year. Or else he'd be stuck around Privet Drive all summer. He had even managed to buy himself some decent cloths. You couldn't even classify his old rags as cloths.  
  
Harry was deep in thought so he didn't see Severus buy himself a coke. Severus had figured that harry wouldn't notice. Besides, the boy would probably stay a long time.  
  
_I wonder if I could go to Knockturn Alley today. I can't when my friends are around and I'll need some books. I won't find them in Diagon Alley_, thought harry.  
  
He slowly ate his hamburger breakfast. He took his coke with him outside before he called the knight buss. Harry was the only passenger so he could go there in no time.  
  
It was a good thing that Harry didn't see Snape's loose his mask to turn into a face of disbelief when he went into Knockturn Alley.  
  
Harry was in an excellent mood. No one was near to stop him and didn't that feel absolutely fucking good?

Hell yeah!

He hide his face in the alley. Soon he found a bookstore. Severus couldn't enter so he didn't know what harry did. Harry had figured so much. He was looking around in the store. Collecting a several interesting books.  
  
_Gotta remember to not show anyone_, he thought. _Would sorta be nasty to explain_, he added to himself. He paid with a wry smile. He didn't like the look of the shopkeeper.  
  
Harry left the shop with a big heavy bag. He decided to take a look in another store. It had potions and potion ingredients.  
  
"Hm, could be useful," he said to himself.  
  
At last he went to a pet shop.  
  
"What can I do for you Mister?" said a witch with a dark voice.  
  
"Snakes," he spat.  
  
The witch led him to a several cages. There were only three snakes.  
  
"Is this it?" he asked coldly, clearly showing that he wasn't satisfied.  
  
"That's it. A man bought them all yesterday."  
  
"Why not these?"  
  
"They're to dangerous."  
  
Harry picked a black one with green and silvirish pattern. Harry paid and left the alley.

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Review please!

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